But What About Reading?
Understanding the panic, the pressure, and what real literacy actually looks like outside the system.
For many parents, the idea of deschooling feels somewhat manageable, until reading comes up.
Reading is the line in the sand. It’s the one thing most parents feel anxious about letting go of. You might be able to imagine your kid learning about nature or math in a more relaxed way. But if they’re not reading by a certain age? Panic.
I get it. We've been taught that reading early is a sign of intelligence, and that strong readers do better in life. We’ve absorbed the idea that if our kids fall behind, they might never catch up. But all of this is deeply tied to a system that isn’t serving us or our children, and it’s worth pulling it apart.
Why the Pressure Around Reading Is So Intense
Our culture places reading on a pedestal. It’s the badge of being a “good student.” Kids who read early are praised. Kids who don’t? Labeled.
But here’s what’s rarely said:
The age that children are forced to read in school has nothing to do with developmental readiness
Many children who are pushed to read early can decode words, but don’t actually comprehend them
The drive to make all kids read by 6 or 7 is based on school logistics, not brain development
Some of the most intellectually curious, self-directed kids I’ve met didn’t read fluently until 9, 10, or even older. I didn’t start until I was 12. And when it clicked, it clicked. These kids often take off and surpass their peers, not because they were taught harder or earlier, but because they were ready, and the love of learning hadn’t been wrung out of them.
Redefining What Reading Means
Let’s pause for a second and ask: What do we actually mean when we say “reading”?
Do we mean decoding printed words with our eyes?
Or do we mean understanding, interpreting, and engaging with the world?
True literacy is about ideas. It’s about comprehension. It’s about making meaning.
A kid who listens to audiobooks for hours a day is absolutely reading.
A kid who tells complex stories, studies Pokemon card stats, and creates signs for their lemonade stand is practicing real literacy skills.
We miss this because we’ve been conditioned to equate reading with one narrow method of delivery, printed words on a page, when in reality, reading is a whole-body, whole-mind experience.
When You Let Go of the Timeline, It Happens So Much Faster
This is one of the great paradoxes of deschooling: the more you push, the more resistance you create.
But when kids feel safe, unjudged, and free to learn in their own time? They blossom.
I’ve watched kids go from “not reading” to devouring novels in the span of a few months. Not because someone taught them, but because their internal drive clicked. They had a reason to read. They were ready. And they hadn’t been burned out or shamed by years of pressure.
What If They Never Choose to Learn?
This fear comes up a lot. What if you wait, and they never want to learn?
But here’s what’s true: humans are wired to communicate. We want to understand stories, ideas, signs, and information. Literacy is baked into being human.
If your child lives in a rich environment where people read, write, speak, and share ideas, if they have a reason to want those tools, then reading will come. Not always on your timeline. But it will come.
The only kids I’ve seen not want to learn are the ones who have been shamed, pressured, or traumatized by early reading instruction that made them feel broken.
You Are Not Failing Them By Letting Go
Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care.
Letting go doesn’t mean you’re abandoning literacy.
Letting go means you’re creating space for real learning to happen.
It takes courage to step away from what school told you was essential. But I promise, when you do, you start to see literacy everywhere. You see it in conversations, in curiosity, in creative play, in the ways your child interacts with the world.
And when the time is right, you’ll see reading show up too. Not as a benchmark, but as a byproduct of being fully engaged in life.
Call to Action
Thank you for being here. If this spoke to something deep in you, I’d love to hear what came up. You can reply directly to this post or comment and share your story.
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– Moira 🌟